Independent parody. Real merch. Civic petition. Not Taco Bell, not Yum!, not USDA. We filed the joke before you filed the letter.
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Field packet
Field note 07 — after grocery close
Peeling at the south corner like a scab the franchise will not pick. A second sticker, smaller, says PARTICIPATING LOCATION in a font no packet issued. The font is doing most of the crime. A third sticker, inside, is for a grocery that closed in 2017 and still collects rumors.
Open the packetField note 12 — drive-thru
Headset: you paying with card? Subject: the government one. Headset: we can try. Subject: the sign says. Headset: the sign says a lot of things. Subject: so is that a yes. Headset: that is a weather report. A hatchback behind them honks like a legislature.
Open the packetField note 19 — cup holder
Tender printed EBT, then voided, then cash. Fire sauce: three. Statute silent on sauce, loud on everything else. Recovered from a cup holder that has seen war. The void is the only adult in the tape.
Open the packetField note 04 — parking lot
They arrive before the reader. Lawn chairs, a Bluetooth speaker, a cousin on speakerphone who is already wrong. Issuance in this state is staggered by case number. Folklore does not stagger. Folklore brought ice.
Open the packetField note 22 — cantina hours
The same plaza sells beer two doors down. The vinyl does not know this. The circular does. A prepared meal next to a tap is how a participating location becomes a story you tell badly at Thanksgiving.
Open the packetField note 31 — graveyard
New hire, second night. Knows the PIN pad, not the packet. Presses the government button because a customer pointed at the window. The beep decides the theology. The trainee will quote the beep for the rest of the week.
Open the packet