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Independent parody. Real merch. Civic petition. Not Taco Bell, not Yum!, not USDA. We filed the joke before you filed the letter.

RMP PETITION OPEN · FIRST AMENDMENT · 9 STATES ON THE BOOKS · 41 TO GO · BUYOUT LIVE · C&D INTAKE OPEN · 10% BOUNTY · WE CALLED YOU OUT FIRST · NOT A LOCATOR · TENDER: FOLKLORE · RMP PETITION OPEN · FIRST AMENDMENT · 9 STATES ON THE BOOKS · 41 TO GO · BUYOUT LIVE · C&D INTAKE OPEN · 10% BOUNTY · WE CALLED YOU OUT FIRST · NOT A LOCATOR · TENDER: FOLKLORE ·

Current domain buyout price · live

$617,802.17

55,301 citizen signatures filed · +$55,000 civic

[ Sign state petition ]

Field packet

Notes from the window

Field note 07 — after grocery close

The letters are bigger than the hours

Peeling at the south corner like a scab the franchise will not pick. A second sticker, smaller, says PARTICIPATING LOCATION in a font no packet issued. The font is doing most of the crime. A third sticker, inside, is for a grocery that closed in 2017 and still collects rumors.

Open the packet

Field note 12 — drive-thru

Transcript, 01:14 a.m.

Headset: you paying with card? Subject: the government one. Headset: we can try. Subject: the sign says. Headset: the sign says a lot of things. Subject: so is that a yes. Headset: that is a weather report. A hatchback behind them honks like a legislature.

Open the packet

Field note 19 — cup holder

The void is the honest line

Tender printed EBT, then voided, then cash. Fire sauce: three. Statute silent on sauce, loud on everything else. Recovered from a cup holder that has seen war. The void is the only adult in the tape.

Open the packet

Field note 04 — parking lot

Folding chairs, 06:40 a.m.

They arrive before the reader. Lawn chairs, a Bluetooth speaker, a cousin on speakerphone who is already wrong. Issuance in this state is staggered by case number. Folklore does not stagger. Folklore brought ice.

Open the packet

Field note 22 — cantina hours

Alcohol adjacency

The same plaza sells beer two doors down. The vinyl does not know this. The circular does. A prepared meal next to a tap is how a participating location becomes a story you tell badly at Thanksgiving.

Open the packet

Field note 31 — graveyard

The button and the god

New hire, second night. Knows the PIN pad, not the packet. Presses the government button because a customer pointed at the window. The beep decides the theology. The trainee will quote the beep for the rest of the week.

Open the packet